Quarter of Century
Dear self,
I never imagined that I can through until this quarter of the century. As far as this age goes, this year is the year that I have complained the most to God. On the other hand, this year, I do also learn most about prayer and faith as the fruit of practiced surrendering to God’s direction. Honestly, this is not like what I want to be but maybe this is one of another His overawe plans.
Also, I never expected that this year will be a hard one when I should lose my beloved dad. I love all the memories we made since I was a child, He taught me everything he had, it kind like how to play music, take care self by doing some sports, taught about martial arts to stay safe, taught me about the values of life, how to forgive and pray for people who hurt me, how to keep faith in every hope and circumstance and how to still be sane by creating humor sense. Oh, Dad how I miss when we laugh together by our own humors.
One fine day I ever asked God why I was born into this family. And I know the answer is that I was brought up pretty well, valuable, and worthy in this family. My dad, the man who loves me as one of His angels to me, who loves me with all his heart, loves me more than himself, he is even willing to sacrifice some of his interests when he is still actively working, and in his old age, he is even willing to endure his pain to be with me longer. A beautiful love that was never found before.
In a few days, I was confused and did not know how to pray. And I asked my Preacher. So here, I attach what my Preacher said to me that I still need to learn about these hard lessons that I got from one of the stories in the quarter of a century.
Too many memories and most of them are joy, love, and good memories with you, Dad. I am not exaggerating but this is what I felt until this age. Thanks for being with me for this quarter century. I know I can not hold and hug you physically as we used to be, but I believe we are not far, you always stay in my heart and we just distance by prayer. Sorry Dad, if I am still selfish, and made the wrong decision regarding the medical treatment that was given while you were hospitalized. But The Preacher said, my love never changed so do my dad’s love never change to me. To be honest, I don’t know what will happen next without you, Dad. But I have God, I believe in God Who Created the universe. I have faith in Him that He never leaves me alone. As it was written in Bible, like these:
Deuteronomy 31:8
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Isaiah 41: 10–13
10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
One of proven faith:
This faith ever becoming a reality, when I said to myself and believed in God that I could graduate on time honorably and promised to myself that in September of that year, I will be bringing my parents came to celebrate my Bachelor’s Degree Graduation.
Maybe I was not born into a family that has many privileges but I believe God always has a purpose on me and all impossible dreams, He can make it possible. Dear Dad and Mom, I will make other achievements and always be your pride.
All impossible things are God’s expertise. I do walk by faith, not by sight.
Dear self, I wanna say congrats on your achievement until this stage of life.
Don’t give up on yourself cause God who creates you never gives up on you. Stop comparing your life with others cause everyone through their timeline. Be better from the old phases and convince yourself that you are worthy as Dad loves you, moreover God who created you.
The memories will not only be the sadness or madness through this journey but also a fuel to achieve dreams. Who knows next year what will be going on? don’t ask about a year ahead, we are the humans who have no known about a second after this. if you have finished reading this, be grateful because you have been given extra time in life to read the whole text. And I do hope you get the same excitement feeling to keep faith and continue your journey.
